The Waiting Game (40 weeks)

I now understand...well at least sympathize with scheduled inductions/c-sections. I have been preparing myself all along that Baby Girl would most likely be "overdue" as is true for most first time moms. But there was something so exciting about hitting 37 weeks and the fact that she COULD be born at any time. The last month is definitely the hardest and the days seem to go by slower! 

Then once your due date comes and goes it can be really discouraging. I found myself thinking this week "what if she never comes?" Every well meaning "when is that baby going to get here?" would make me want to just cry and say "I don't know if she is ever going to come!" Well not quite that dramatic, but you get the point, it was hard. I am so thankful to have midwifery care that is encouraging and doesn't treat me being "overdue" as a concern. Baby girl is healthy and she isn't in any distress so there is no medical need for an induction at this point. I know that if I had an OB pushing me towards induction, it would be so easy to give in when I am so anxious to meet our little girl.
 
Despite my bursts of discouragement through the week, I was also really encouraged thinking that God knows my baby and he knows all of her days. He has her birthday already planned, down to the very second. I found myself meditating on scripture like "unless the lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. (Psalm 127:1)" and "'Shall I bring to the point of birth and not give delivery?' says the LORD. 'Or shall I who gives delivery shut the womb?' says your God. (Isaiah 66:9 NASB)" Waiting is so hard, but I know that God is using this time to teach me to depend on him. It's so hard to wait because I can't control it. Pregnancy is so very humbling, as I have learned to walk by faith and trust in the Lord and praise him regardless of the results. 

Things I have done this week to keep busy and distracted

• Devotions 
• Cleaning out the closet
• Packing my bag for the Birth Center
•  Walks around the neighborhood
• Dinner with friends
• Dates with hubby
• Crocheting...I just learned this week!
• Decorating the nursery
• Prepping my cloth diapers
•  Finishing the last season of 24!

    Natural Induction/Encouragement Methods

• Walking
• Swimming
• Dancing
• Evening Primrose Oil
• Herbal labor prep
• Pineapple
• Time with the Hubby ;-)
• Acupressure (ankle and skin between index finger and thumb)
• Acupuncture  (ankles, hands, pinky toes, collar bones)  
• Pelvic Rocks
• Sitting on a yoga/birthing ball    
• Rebozo sifting

   

 
How far along? 40 weeks

Baby size: A Jackfruit (i dont know what that is either)! About 20 inches long and weighing nearly 8lbs.

Total weight gain/loss: 52lbs yikes! That is going to be fun to lose, really thankful that I will be breastfeeding you burn 500 calories a day just sitting there. 
Maternity clothes? I have been wearing sweatpants and slippers all week. I try to wear a nice shirt with my black yoga pants and pretend that I am dressed up.
Stretch marks? I have some tiger stripes (or zebra stripes as my hubby put it!)
Sleep: I love sleep! I have been a little more sleepy this week, taking cat naps here and there. 

Highlights/Best moments this week: Hubby had the whole week off from work...we were hoping baby girl would make her appearance while he had it off, but it was nice to spend time together as a couple. We went to the gym 4 days this week I swam, walked, and Zumba-ed...pretty much anything that would encourage our sweet baby to get in a good position. 

I started acupuncture this week at my chiropractor appointments. I was really nervous about the pain, but surprisingly it didn't hurt at all, with the exception of the needle in my pinky toes.  We decided to do acupuncture because it releases oxytocin  and stimulates contractions...it definitely works! We are just waiting for the contractions to be strong enough to be considered labor. ;-)

We completed the nursery (see Project Nursery part 2) and I cleaned out our closet, put away maternity clothes and summer/spring clothes. Cleaned the house...twice and I think I will do it again haha. Oh and I finally started packing my Birth Center Bag. 

Miss Anything? I am looking forward to having a "normal" sized body again. It's getting too hard to get up and down. I hope I never see 200lbs again, its too much work!
Movement: She is still moving, not crazy big movements, but she is big enough in there that her little movements are noticeable.
Food cravings: ummm... I have been trying to eat salad and protein this week to prepare my body for labor...I may have snuck in a few cookies too
Anything making you queasy or sick: No sickness

Have you started to show yet: yes
Gender : It's a GIRL!!

Symptoms: swollen feet, frequent bathroom breaks, back ache, nesting, braxton hicks contractions, huge bump, colostrum, baby on my pelvic bone.
Belly Button in or out? outie
Wedding rings on or off? off and around my neck.

Happy or Moody most of the time: happy and anxious...sometimes discouraged, but mostly humbled!
Looking forward to:  I AM HAVING A BABY WOOHOOO!

You Mean Cookies Aren't Part of a Pregnancy Diet?

You hear people talk about how wonderful it is when you are pregnant because you can eat whatever you want. People will say "go ahead, have another brownie, you are eating for two". Well those people LIE! I thought pregnancy was going to be an endless supply of chocolate cake, pies and cookies and midnight runs to taco bell. While I have had my fair share of cookies the past 2 weeks (since that has been my craving), for the most part, if I am eating food that will actually build a healthy baby, there is no room for all those empty calories. A pregnant woman is only supposed to eat about 300 more calories a day in the first trimester...that is an apple with some peanut butter! And it doesn't increase too much by the end.

I am so thankful for my midwives who have really done a good job at encouraging me to eat right and exercise. Since I am taking the natural route it really is important to be reminded that a healthy pregnancy creates a healthy birth. I have learned that a "weight loss diet", which I was on prior to pregnancy, is not the same as a "healthy diet". There are still some things that they have in common, for instance white sugar and flour are always BAD! And processed meats aren't recommended in either. However, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I could eat real eggs again (even the yolk!) and honey or truvia was better than splenda, real butter is superior to margarine or reduced fat and best of all WHOLE MILK! I love milk and 1% is just blue water in my opinion so it's wonderful to be drinking the real stuff! *Of all the things i mentioned above organic is ideal, because it has less hormones and chemicals. I try to think REAL, RAW foods ( I sometimes cheat and have an oreo ;-). It has actually been kind of fun to learn to read labels and see what is in my food and I get a little excited when I find a new organic food I like at Wegmans.

I thought it might be fun to share with you guys what I actually eat (or try to eat) each day. Both my Midwives and our Bradley class recommend the Brewer diet. This pregnancy diet is a high protein diet, since protein is essential in growing a strong and healthy baby. Protein also helps with morning sickness and helps prevent high blood pressure.

Each day I have...

• 80-100g of protein! (its really fun to see how much protein is in things, like a daily challenge)

• 1 quart of milk ( Raw is my favorite, but i settle for Organic whole milk)

• 2 eggs 

• 1-2 servings of meat (I use organic beef or chicken, tuna, shrimp etc.)

• 1-2 servings of green leafy vegetables (I fail in this category most days. I try to sneak them in...smoothies etc.)

• 2-3 servings of whole wheat

• 1 piece of citrus fruit

• 3 pats of real butter ( I even made my own once)

•  LOTS of Water ( I shoot for at least 2 liters)

• other fruits and veggies

• baked potato 3 times a week ( I eat maybe twice)

• Salt to taste 

• Pregnancy tea (I try to drink at least a cup a day, but I need to increase that now to around 2)

So if I actually fill myself on all those good foods, I have no room for all the junk foods, which really aren't good for me or the baby!

In addition to eating healthy I also take several supplements.

•  Rainbow Light 1 a day prenatal vitamins
• Nordic Natural's Cod Liver Oil ( I like this brand because now that I have reflux, I only taste lemon and no fishy taste)
• P8 Probiotics
• Vitamin C
• I recently bought Keifer (which I think is a milky probiotic) to put in my smoothies

 Why is it important to have a healthy prenatal diet? According to our Midwives the following are complications caused by a poor prenatal diet:

1. Preeclampsia/Toxemia (high blood pressure)
2. Abruption of the placenta
3. Infarcted, small, calified placenta
4. Poorly implanted placenta
5. Placenta to firmly planted
6. Maternal infection
7. Hyperemesis gravidarum (extreme vomiting/dehydration during pregnancy)
8. Maternal Death
9. Hyperactivity and learning diabilities
10. Mental retardation and behavior disorders
11. Cerebal Palsy 
12. Minor neurological disorders
13. Epilepsy 
14. Low birth weight
15. Infant infection
16. Congenital anatomic defects
17. Hyperkinesis
18. Perinatal death, still births, infant deaths
19. Spontaneous abortion (sudden miscarriage)

Resources:
The Brewer Pregnancy Diet (in more detail)
Bradley Method Nutrition

My Pregnant View on Abortion

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 I woke up this morning from a dream about abortion. I was on a bus full of people and I saw an old friend. She told me she was on her way to an abortion clinic. I sat down beside her and started to beg her not to do it. Then the people on the bus started getting in my face pulling me away and yelling at me about it being "her choice". I woke up in a feeling of panic thinking, "but I need to tell her!" So this morning this has been on my heart. 

Being Pregnant has caused me to become harshly aware of abortion. I can remember as a teenager saying things like “well I don’t think I would ever do it but I think a woman should be able to choose what she does with HER body” and I even remember one time in college saying “I don’t think I would ever have an abortion, but if I am honest with myself, there is no way I would have a baby right now”. I made both of these statements during a time that I claimed to be a born again Christian. It wasn’t until a little later that I truly surrendered my life to Christ and saw my sin and my need for a savior. In addition to my new understanding of things, my views on abortion changed. I started to sense more deeply that abortion was wrong, though I didn’t really know why I felt that way. I believed that life began at conception and I believed that abortion was murder, despite the arguments of fetus and brain development yada yada. In my heart I just knew, but I couldn’t verbalize why. 

            Since I have been pregnant I have come to see abortion in a whole new way. Early in my pregnancy I had spotting (up until 9 weeks) and it was terrifying. I remember thinking its funny how as a teenager the worst thing in the world would be to have a baby and now in this moment the worst thing would be to lose one. At 6 weeks we had an ultrasound to make sure the baby was there and alive. There was something so special and amazing about seeing that little heartbeat flicker on the screen. I knew this was a life, it didn’t look like a baby, but it had a heartbeat! I knew that this wasn't just MY body anymore, I was sharing my body with another tiny life and it was Amazing. The doctors told us to be prepared that things could still go wrong and I could still have an abortion…she used the word abortion, not talking about a procedure, but referring to the life inside of me as being aborted on it’s own, what we commonly call a miscarriage. I thought it was funny that she phrased it that way, but an abortion procedure is really just a miscarriage caused purposely by the mother.  I was still so fearful of losing this child and others were willing to purposefully “lose” theirs. I would have attacks of fear where I truly believed that we were going to lose the baby. I was sure of it! The only things that comforted me were the prayers of my husband and the promises of the Lord.  

            I started to wonder how is it that people can have such differing views on this issue, how is it that in my own life at different times even I have had differing views? Then I realized that a person’s stance on abortion is dependent on two things, what they believe about God and His sovereignty and what they believe about children.

What they believe about God:

If I believe that God is holy, righteous, loving and just, the creator and supreme ruler of all and sovereign, then my view on pregnancy (planned or not) is drastically different than someone without that view of God. A Sovereign God is one who is ultimately in control and authority over all of life’s circumstances; life, death, marriage and children. If I have this view of God when I face difficult situations, I stop asking “why God?” and start asking “God what is it that you are doing?” because I know that God loves me and “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).” I know that even if I haven't planned my pregnancy that God, being sovereign, has planned my pregnancy. It isn't an accident. This means that if I am pregnant as a result of a terrible rape, God is sovereign and he will comfort me through the pain. If I am pregnant and have no money, I know that God has a plan and He will provide. If I am pregnant and have no husband, God is sovereign and He is the Father of my child. If I am pregnant and my child has down syndrome, or some other disease, God is sovereign and he knit my Child together in my womb and he loves my child very much! If God is sovereign then none of these situations are a viable reason for an abortion. Abortion is just a false since of control over my life and ultimately it is a way to tell God that what I think should happen is superior to what He is doing.

It was also this view about God that helped me to put my trust in him when it came to the life of my Child. Believing that God is Sovereign and good and meditating on that truth comforted me. Knowing that God loved my baby more than me and he would work all things together for the  good of his people, whatever the situation.

What they think about Children:

As a promiscuous teenager it would be easy to see a Child as a punishment for your sin. I think that is how many of my friends viewed it, it was like a way you were “caught” at doing what was wrong, you would be forced to tell your parents what you had been doing and everyone would know. Your baby bump would be like your scarlet letter. I think this is true for a woman of any age who ends up pregnant from a sinful relationship, infidelity, fornication etc. It can seem as if a baby is just a punishment for the “act” you have done. This is probably the most common lie Satan uses to convince women that they need an abortion. Children should never be viewed as a punishment for sin, but rather a blessing despite our sin.

We live in a culture where Children aren’t loved; they aren’t viewed as a blessing, but a burden or an inconvenience. We have apartment buildings that are “children free” we call our kids “snot nosed brats” and if you don’t want kids yet, finding out your pregnant could be the equivalent of finding out you have cancer. I think I have come to see the root of this view as selfishness. Being pregnant my body is no longer mine, I share it with this little life that needs me to put aside my wants and take care of it, feed it the right foods, rest at the right time, exercise etc. and the sacrifice of my wants won't stop once the child is born. There is self-sacrifice in having a child, and our selfishness makes us not want that, we want to continue to live life for ourselves with limited responsibility. But if we know the TRUTH about Children our view on abortion is drastically different.

King Solomon proclaims,     

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,

                        the fruit of the womb a reward.

            Like arrows in the hand of a warrior

                        are the children of one's youth.

            Blessed is the man

                        who fills his quiver with them!

            He shall not be put to shame

                        when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

(Psalm 127:3-5 ESV)

And David speaks deeply about the intricate work of God’s sovereignty in creating a child as he reflects on his own relationship with the Lord.  

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.(Psalm 139:13-14 ESV)

Jesus compares childbirth to believers longing for His return,

“When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.” (John 16:21 ESV)

Scripture teaches that Children are a blessing, a reward, they are fearfully and wonderfully made, and Children bring forth Joy. But why is this not the view of many in America? Our culture is so blinded by the lies of MY RIGHTS, MY BODY, MY LIFE that we fail to see the blessing and beauty of children. 

I did not write this to shame anyone who has had an abortion. I expect that many who stumble upon this post with have at some point in their life experienced abortion, even evangelical Christians. I know that there is much pain involved with abortion and much guilt. But the good news of the Gospel is that forgiveness and freedom can be found at the cross. I would never wish to condemn someone for their past. I just wanted to share how I have come to understand abortion and the epidemic that is around us. Experiencing the miracle of having a life inside me; every kick and hiccup, the sound of her little heartbeat, has made me more passionate and more aware of the TRUTH of what goes on in abortion clinics. I hope this post will challenge the way people view abortion, especially “pro-choice believers” and I hope that others will share their testimonies on the issue. I find this verse very convicting,  "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."(James 4:17) I believe that because I know that the right thing to do is to speak up about the truth, for me not to do it would be a sin. I hope that others will speak up too!