Mommy and Daddy prayed for you and we were so happy to learn that God was forming you in my tummy. We had been told that it would be hard to get pregnant on our own, but God had a plan for you to bring Himself glory and He didn’t care what the doctors said. As soon as we learned of God’s work I was filled with fear. I knew that I could not control what would happen to you and it’s always a little scary to have to completely trust that God will work things together for good. God was so gracious though and He taught me that if I surrendered your wellbeing to Him then He would fill me with peace…and that is just what He did.
Even though I knew that God was in control I wanted to do my part and make my body as healthy as I could. I wanted to prepare a safe place for you that would help you to grow big and strong. I wanted to make sure that the little part that I played in your being would be to the best that I could. I started eating all kinds of good foods, even when I didn’t want to and I continued to exercise to keep my muscles strong so that I could bring into the world completely natural.
Through much prayer we decided that we wanted to take the risk of paying for a Birth Center instead of going to a hospital. There was a little more fear in my heart over this decision, because there was no guarantee that we wouldn’t have complications and end up at a hospital anyway. But we felt that this was the best decision for our family and for you. Looking back I now see that God was at work. We developed deep relationships with our Midwives and they played a huge part in making your entrance into the world so special. We also attended a class to prepare for birth and that is where we met Cathy, our doula who loves the Lord and was there to support mommy while she was in labor.
|Mayanne and Jo Anne our fabulous Midwives!|
After months and months of anxious waiting, mommy found herself starting to fear again. You were getting big and you were “overdue” and even though I had prepared myself for all those things, I began to doubt that you would ever make it here. Again people prayed for me and for you and God worked in my heart, reminding me that He knew you and that He had formed you and that He would bring you out in His time. I had to accept that if things didn’t go as I had planned, if for some reason at 42 weeks I had to go to a hospital and be induced, then that was okay. I trusted God and His plan, because you are His and we are just stewards of you while we have you.
God was faithful and you did come! Exactly 1 week after your “guess date” you made your appearance. It was one of the most beautiful days of my life and the Lord was there beside us as we welcomed you into the world. I had been having light contractions the day before. It was a Saturday and Daddy and I had spent some time at the gym. I mostly walked and rolled around on a yoga ball, hoping to encourage your little noggin to get in just the right place. I had been trying all sorts of natural ways to help you out, though I am sure you would have done just fine on your own. The contractions continued all day Saturday, but they never hurt and they were never consistent. They were just enough of a hint to let me know that you were on your way very soon. I went to bed as usual and woke up at 6:20 and knew this was the day. The practice contractions had developed into real contractions and they were strong enough to keep me awake and they were coming roughly every 6 minutes. I decided to wake daddy up at 7:00 and we rested on the couch together and watched TV. We didn’t want to get overly excited, because we learned that adrenaline slows down labor and we knew we would need to be rested when things stated to pick up.
I lost the plug that was keeping you in around 7:50 so I knew that things were progressing. Our friend, and student midwife JoAnne came over around 11:00 and let us know that I was 2 cm dilated, which was encouraging, but I knew there was still a long way to go. We let our families and close friends know that you were really on your way and everyone started praying again. There were at least two Church Families that prayed for you during their morning worship service.
Our friend Cortney came over to bring lunch and comfort me after Church and just as I had laid down to get my back massage I had another contraction and this one was accompanied by a Pop! I managed to make it to the bathroom with out making mess all over the floor, but it was clear that my “water had broken.”
Jo Anne came back over and said it was time to head to our birth center so she called Mayanne, our midwife, and we started packing. My contractions started to pick up and I wasn’t very excited about the car ride ahead of us, but once again God was gracious and as I labored in the car and hugged my pillow I even managed to get some rest between contractions.
Once we made it to the Birth Center it was time to get down to business. Your Daddy was the best birth coach; he never left my side! I started in the Birth tub, since water birth was my ideal birth situation, but the water was too cold and my contractions and shivering together were too violent. Through the next several hours mommy labored all over our birth room; laying on the bed, on the birth ball, on the birth stool, on the toilet, in the shower and daddy was right there to give me water or food or chapstick. He even squeezed my hips through contractions to take some pain off my back. At one point he shivered in his swim trunks as I hogged all the water in the shower. He was definitely mommy’s hero that day!
The contractions were strong, but they never were more than I could handle. God was ministering to my soul the whole time showing me His beautiful plan in childbirth. He had designed my body to grow and bear life. As I would get a contraction my body would adjust to that level of pain and after a while it would get a little stronger, then my body would adjust to that pain and it would go on and on.
The most precious moment during labor happened while mommy was sitting on a birthing stool wrapped in warm towels. The lights were low and there were candles (flameless) light, the fire was glowing and everyone was sitting in a circle. Jesus Paid it all came on the playlist and daddy had them turn it up. The room was filled with praises as we all started to sing. The pain was still there, but the presence of the Lord was overwhelming.
Cortney came over and started to braid my hair. I began to cry as I thought back to how we had longed for this day. Before I knew it I was sobbing. Mayanne asked why I was crying, I am sure she thought I was in terrible pain.
“She wasn’t supposed to exist!” I exclaimed through sobs.
“What do you mean she wasn’t supposed to exist?”
“The doctors told us that we wouldn’t be able to have children” I managed to sneak out.
At this point I know Cortney was crying too because she spoke up and shared how we had been praying for you and you were finally here.
Sometime after that I experienced a shocking contraction in which my body heaved on its own, my contractions were intense and I felt sick to my stomach. I remember our Doula telling me at one point “I know it might not seem like it, but there is a peace here”. But I felt the flood of fear coming over my body and I decided that I wasn’t going to allow my body to get sick or heave like that again. And on my own will my labor stalled. Mayanne brought me a homeopathic remedy to help give me energy and hopefully cause my contractions to pick back up and I headed back to the shower. Daddy sat outside handing me water and labor aid and I had to face my fears.
As I was alone in the shower battling myself, Mayanne came to check on me. It was the first time I actually admitted that I was afraid. I was afraid that the contractions would get much harder, that I still had to go through transition. I was afraid that the pain would be like what you see on TV and I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Mayanne brought me another homeopathic remedy and said it would help with fear. I remember thinking she was just giving me sugar pills and telling me that they helped. But I knew that what I really needed was to trust the Lord. After all that is what He had been teaching me all through pregnancy. I repeated to myself over and over “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and self-control” I cried out to the Lord and asked him to give me His strength and I told Him that I trusted Him. With the next contraction I let the fear go and I embraced the pain and I knew it was time to push.
I got out of the shower and waddled to the bed with daddy’s help, stopping twice for contractions. Mayanne said she wanted to check and see that I was completely dilated. Since my last check was at 11am we really had no idea how far along I was. My instincts were right and Mayanne said that I could start pushing whenever I wanted. It was 10 pm. After a few pushes on the bed we decided that it wasn’t the best position and Mayanne had us change things up. Daddy squatted; leaning against the bed and mommy did the same bracing herself against his knees for support. With one push you were crowning. It was amazing how my body would follow my lead as I pushed it would respond with a contraction. Within a few minutes your head was out, followed quickly by the rest of your little body. You were born at 10:15 pm. Words cannot describe those precious moments as daddy and I both wept for joy and you were placed on my chest and the three of us embraced. We spent time loving on you as you took your first breaths, admiring your little hands and toes. You were so alert. We waited for the cord to stop pulsating; giving you the last bit of good blood and then daddy cut the cord. The Lord truly blessed us with you and we thank Him each day for knitting you together in mommy’s tummy, growing you strong and healthy, and bringing you safely into this world. You are a tiny little miracle and the Lord has a plan for you. We love you so much! Happy 1 month baby girl!